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Red Screen of the Future
Red Screen of the Future is a four-part special in The Super Evil Guy Super Show! that originally aired throughout the sixth season, directly following the Red Army of Death special. Summary After accidentally absorbing some of the powers of the Red Army of Death, Pickle becomes overwhelmed by his new-found capabilities and accidentally sends Evil Guy and co. to the future, as well as the air-headed android Sgag. There, the entire world has been taken over by Raiza and his evil army, and Evil Guy's minions become converted into Red Army soldiers. Then, Raiza traps Evil Guy in a gladiatorial arena and forces him to fight his friends to the death. Script Scene 1 Evil Guy and co. wake up to find themselves in a red-skied, war-torn landscape. Nothing seems recognizable as our heroes look around and search the area for anything familiar. EVIL GUY: Where are we? PICKLE: Argh...I've misused my new powers, I'm afraid. EVIL GUY: Why? What have you done? PICKLE: Sent us into the future. SGAG: This is why Master Raiza never uses his time-travel powers! It's too dangerous! EVIL GUY: "Master Raiza"...SHADOW KIRBY! SHADOW KIRBY: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just...I was following her because she was taking me to the Red Army's secret base. SGAG: Yeah! He was gonna get pizza there! EVIL GUY: ...What? Pizza? How do I not know about this? SGAG: What do you mean? (Turning to Shadow Kirby) Wait a minute! You tricked me, didn't you? SHADOW KIRBY: Uh... SGAG: Well, take THIS! Sgag turns her arm into a laser cannon and fires a laser at Shadow Kirby, which he promptly inhales. Becoming Laser Kirby, he shoots a laser at Sgag, damaging her and making her shut down. SHADOW KIRBY: There. You know, I kinda like this power-up. Suddenly, Pickle is surrounded by red smoke, which descends from the clouds, and is whisked into the air. EVIL GUY: That can't be good. SHADOW KIRBY: We've got to follow him! You wait here. I'll track him down. EVIL GUY: Great. We'll search for Wario when you get back. Fade to black. Scene 2 Shadow Kirby is flying through a dense cloud of red smoke when he hears a familiar voice. RED SCREEN OF DEATH: Well, well, well. Rescuing our little friend, are we? SHADOW KIRBY: The Red Screen of Death?! RED SCREEN OF DEATH: None other. I've been stretched out across your sky by way of satellites made of PS2 parts. I am everywhere now. SHADOW KIRBY: Wait...that explosion! From the flying PS2! RED SCREEN OF DEATH: Yes. And now, it is time to strengthen my hold on my newest minion. Pickle drops out of the sky, red and smoking. Shadow Kirby barrel-rolls out of his way just in time. PICKLE: Shadow Kirby, he's controlling my body! You've got to stop him somehow! SHADOW KIRBY: How? PICKLE: Get Fernando. Tell him to use his rain dance. Shadow Kirby drops like a stone, streaking towards the ground, as Pickle follows him. RED SCREEN OF DEATH: Oh, dear. This will not do at all. PICKLE: Shadow Kirby, look out! He's gonna make me fire a laser at you! Pickle fires a laser at Shadow Kirby, but the latter avoids it in time. He flies down to Evil Guy and co. SHADOW KIRBY: Fernando, quick! Use your rain dance! FERNANDO: On it. Fernando begins dancing, but Pickle creates a whip made of red lightning and lashes it against the ground. PICKLE: Fernando, get out of the way! Shadow Kirby inhales Fernando just in time, as the electric whip strikes the ground and leaves a black mark. EVIL GUY: What's going on? What happened to Pickle? Shadow Kirby copies Fernando's Rain Dance ability and spits him out. SHADOW KIRBY: He's being controlled by the Red Screen of Death. FERNANDO: All right, Shadow Kirby. You get Pickle, while I take care of the Red Screen of Death. SHADOW KIRBY: Right! Shadow Kirby flies straight at Pickle and douses him with water, turning him green again and catching him. PICKLE: Thanks, Shadow Kirby! I thought that was it for me. SHADOW KIRBY: Look who's talking. Meanwhile, Fernando has doused the red smoke in the air, getting rid of the Red Screen of Death. RED SCREEN OF DEATH: No...I'll be...back... The sky turns a cloudy gray instead of red. Our heroes turn to the fallen Sgag. EVIL GUY: What do we do with her? SHY GUY: She is an enemy. Leave her here to rust. PICKLE: But we need her to find Wario! EVIL GUY: Fine. Anyone know how to jump-start her? Pickle waves a hand, and a small sphere of flame travels into Sgag's chest. She comes to life. SGAG: Wh--what happened? PICKLE: We brought you back to life. Specifically, I did. SGAG: Why? EVIL GUY: So you can take us straight to Wario. Now comply, or we'll break you again! SGAG: Wait, wait! I don't know who that is. Is he a friend of yours? EVIL GUY: Obviously. He went missing after we got in a tussle with the Red Army. SGAG: Then he must be in the conversion bunker. ALL: The what? SGAG: Follow me. Sgag flies off as the others follow on foot. Fade to black. Scene 3 Evil Guy and co. are climbing a steep mountain, while Shadow Kirby is following Sgag through the air. EVIL GUY: I'm tired! are we there yet? SGAG: Almost. Suddenly, the entire cliff splits in half with a deafening crack. Evil Guy and Fernando are separated from the Shy Guy, moving in opposite directions, as the cliff opens up like a gate. SGAG: It's open! Why did they choose to open it now? SHY GUY: I'm losing my grip! I can't hold on anymore! EVIL GUY: Dad, no! The Shy Guy falls. Shadow Kirby opens his mouth, sucking the Shy Guy in. EVIL GUY: Thanks, Shadow Kirby. I owe you one. SHADOW KIRBY: Mmmfff. SGAG: Guys, let's go! The gates begin to close. Pickle, Fernando, Shadow Kirby, and Sgag all fly in as the gates close. EVIL GUY: Guys, wait! My suction gloves are stuck! Evil Guy struggles for a moment, then goes limp and sighs. EVIL GUY: God damn it... Scene 4 Cut to the mountain's interior. It is pitch-black, and only Pickle's glowing fire can be seen burning in the palm of his hand. FERNANDO: It's so dark in here. Can you intensify the light? SGAG: No. Don't. FERNANDO: Huh? Why not? Suddenly, an intense battle cry issues from every corner of the mountain and a rising trample is heard. The entire mountain rumbles with screams, and Pickle intensifies the flame in his hand. He catches a glint of red before Sgag claps her hand over the flame. SGAG: Shh... Our heroes are surrounded and overtaken by the Red Army soldiers, who drag them away into the heart of the mountain. PICKLE: Shadow Kirby, don't spit him out! Keep him hidden and release him when we get the chance! SHADOW KIRBY: Mm-hm! SGAG: What are you talking about?! Sgag tries to pry Shadow Kirby's mouth open, but he inhales her and spits out the shy Guy instead. SHY GUY: Hey, where am I? What happened? The Shy Guy is surrounded by Red Army soldiers and dragged away. FERNANDO: The rain dance isn't working! We're inside, and the rain can't penetrate the mountain! PICKLE: You don't say?! SGAG: Shut up, all of you! Master Raiza will be so pleased when he returns. Fade to black. Scene 5 Cut to Evil Guy wriggling about on the mountain. EVIL GUY: Argh! My suction gloves from college are the worst I've ever used! I'll have to get some new ones later. Suddenly, one of the gloves pops off. Evil Guy loses his balance and hangs on with the other glove, barely holding on to the rough surface of the mountain. EVIL GUY: I can't hold on anymore! The surface isn't smooth enough! Suddenly, Shadow Kirby breaks through the mountain, glowing with green energy and wearing a helmet that looks like Sgag's. He picks up Evil Guy, just in time, setting him down on a plateau above them. EVIL GUY: Thanks, Shadow Kirby! Your timing was awesome! SHADOW KIRBY: Are you kidding? I could hear you bawling from the other side, even with the entire Red Army of Death attacking us! Also, I managed to inhale Sgag and copy her powers. EVIL GUY: Sgag? Why? SHADOW KIRBY: Long story short, she betrayed us and led us into a trap. She called this place the "conversion bunker", so I guess that means our friends are going to be converted into Red Army soldiers. Suddenly, our heroes hear Raiza's voice above them. RAIZA: There's been a change of plans. Evil Guy and Shadow Kirby look up, gasping, as they see Raiza himself hovering above them. EVIL GUY: Raiza! RAIZA: That's right. Good to see you again, fat boy. Ever since I discovered how to implant the Red Screen of Death into my floating satellites, I have caused it to spread across the entire planet! Now I can convert everybody into my own, personal soldiers! Yourself included! SHADOW KIRBY: I was right! You are ''going to turn our friends into your mindless minions! RAIZA: Yes. Yes, I am. Come to think of it, you seem rather upset to see them turn to my side before your very eyes, huh? EVIL GUY: What are you saying?! RAIZA: Instead of converting you, Evil Guy, I'm going to force you to fight your friends in a death match, one-by-one, gladiator style. As for you, Shadow Kirby, you're coming with me. Raiza covers Shadow Kirby in red energy and separates them, slowly moving them apart. EVIL GUY: ''No! You can't do this! SHADOW KIRBY: It's no use, Evil Guy. Here, take my helmet. It'll make you stronger. Shadow Kirby tosses his helmet to Evil Guy, but Raiza intercepts it with a crimson net of energy. RAIZA: Oh, no you don't! SHADOW KIRBY: But otherwise, he'll have no advantage against our Red Army powers! RAIZA: Very well. I believe you'll still have the upper hand, so I will allow him to have it. Raiza places the helmet on Evil Guy's head and teleports him into a gladiator arena. It is filled with Red Army soldiers, who are cheering and clapping as Raiza descends into the ring as well. Fade to black. Scene 6 Pan from above onto the arena, carved from brick-red granite and coated with scarlet sand. It is seated with millions of cheering spectators, all of whom are soldiers of the Red Army of Death. Evil Guy is in the center of the arena, and Raiza is floating above it. RAIZA: Attention, my troops! The crowd goes silent. RAIZA: What you are about to see will be the most sadistically amusing sight of the decade, if not the century! The crowd cheers. RAIZA: Watch as our arch-nemesis, Evil Guy... The crowd boos and hisses. RAIZA: ...Fights his own friends in a battle to the death for our own amusement! The crowd cheers again. Evil Guy bows his head and clenches his fists, his facial expression invisible from above. RAIZA: Now, it is time for the first challenger! OPEN THE NORTH GATE! The gate directly ahead of Evil Guy slowly opens. His father, who is shrouded in red smoke, floats toward Evil Guy and halts about two feet away from him. RAIZA: The first challenger is...Evil Guy's very own father! The crowd laughs and cheers. Evil Guy grimaces and stares his father in the eye as the latter begins to inch closer and closer to him. EVIL GUY: Raiza, I'll make you twice as red as-- The Shy Guy interrupts Evil Guy with a fiery dash through the air, followed by a punch to the gut. Evil Guy gasps, winded, and staggers back a few steps. EVIL GUY: I'm not going to kill you, Dad. SHY GUY: Fine by me. You're too puny. EVIL GUY: What did you say?! SHY GUY: Too puny...weak...obese. The crowd lets out a resounding "oooooh" as Evil Guy's sour-faced grimace turns to an exaggerated mask of rage. EVIL GUY: Don't you--call me--''obese''! Evil Guy body-slams the Shy Guy, who stumbles backward and adjusts his mask in surprise. Evil Guy lets out a raging battle-cry and charges at the Shy Guy, who flies toward the ceiling. RAIZA: Oop-oop-oop! No escaping! Raiza waves his hand, disintegrating the Shy Guy. RAIZA: Evil Guy's father has been...disqualified. The crowd laughs and cheers, taunting Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Damn you, Raiza! Evil Guy collapses on the sand beneath him and moans painfully. Fade to black. Scene 7 Evil Guy rises to his feet once more. Another gate, this one directly behind Evil Guy, slowly opens at Raiza's command. RAIZA: The next challenger is... A crimson figure steps out from underneath the gate, covered in red flames. RAIZA: ...Pickle! The crowd laughs and cheers. Some start throwing their popcorn at Evil Guy and Pickle. RAIZA: Begin! Pickle raises his arms and summons a giant fireball, giving Evil Guy to roll out of its way as it nearly misses him. The crowd "ooh"s and "ahh"s as Evil Guy evades two more giant fireballs. PICKLE: That's it! Pickle waves his arms around, using them as flamethrowers. The flames do not come anywhere near Evil Guy. PICKLE: Curse this wind! How is there even any wind inside a mountain?! RAIZA: Well, I have to keep my army breathing, don't I? PICKLE: Indeed, Master. EVIL GUY: Enough! Evil Guy crouches and begins to whip sand at Pickle's face. His flames burn hotter and hotter as Evil Guy chucks more and more sand until, finally, it solidifies into a mask of molten glass around Pickle's head. PICKLE: My eyes! Ahhhhhh! They burn! Evil Guy looks around at the crowd before him and strikes a heroic pose. EVIL GUY: Boy, am I on fire or what? The crowd cheers even louder, chanting his name. RAIZA: Pickle has lost. Take him away. PICKLE: Not so fast! The crowd gasps in unison, as do Raiza and Evil Guy. Pickle sends a crackle of red energy across his face, causing the glass to cool down and shatter into bits. Scene 8 Pickle floats away from Evil Guy, clutching his face in pain. RAIZA: Ooh...it looks like Pickle's having trouble healing his eyes. What is he going to do? Pickle charges toward Evil Guy like a flaming missile, surrounding himself with a cone of crimson flame. EVIL GUY (Panting): I'm too tired to dodge anymore. I'll have to finish this, quick! Evil Guy lowers his head and charges at Pickle like a rhinoceros. Both of them let out battle cries as the crowd's cheering intensifies. RAIZA: And now for the climactic finish... Below Raiza, Evil Guy's and Pickle's heads connect with a sickening crack. Both of them stumble backward, Evil Guy clutching his head in pain and Pickle lying on the ground, motionless, as red pickle juice trickles from his head. The crowd groans and makes sympathetic "awwwww" noises. RAIZA: Another challenger has been vanquished, thanks to that cheating helmet Evil Guy got from our very own Sgag. The crowd boos and hisses at Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Hey! It was only fair that I receive an advantage, just as your minions have! I'm not a Red Army member, after all. RAIZA: Well, maybe you should be. The crowd cheers as another gate is lifted. It is empty. RAIZA: Uh-oh. It seems that my minions have had some trouble converting Fernando, His watery powers have proven too much for the Red Screen of Death. Very well, then. Summon the other challenger that was converted with him! Fade to black with the words "To Be Concluded" appearing on the screen. Scene 9 Evil Guy is standing in the arena as the wind begins to block his view with sand. He shields his eyes and crouches down as Raiza continues his announcement. RAIZA: I'm sorry about the technical difficulties, but one of Evil Guy's minions has resisted conversion... The crowd boos and yells insults. RAIZA: ...But a new challenger has arrived to take his place! The crowd begins cheering again. A squat, crimson figure, sporting wings and a horn on its head, strides into the coliseum from the gate to Evil Guy's right. RAIZA: And the next challenger...hang on, I can't see who it is... EVIL GUY: Argh! Who is that?! I can't see because of this stupid sand! Suddenly, the figure opens its mouth. The sand swirls into its mouth as it inhales it with the force of a tornado. Evil Guy manages to hold his ground. EVIL GUY: Thank goodness for these suction gloves! I'll have to thank my Spy Class teacher later. RAIZA: Now I see him! Evil Guy's next challenger is...Shadow Kirby! The crowd cheers and cranes their necks toward the coliseum's center to take a look at Shadow Kirby. RAIZA: This challenger is one of my favorites. He can fly and copy his foes' abilities by inhaling them! Dee-lightful! The crowd cheers and chants Shadow Kirby's name. Shadow Kirby waddles a few steps and takes to the air, his cheeks filled with sand. EVIL GUY: Let me guess: you're going to dive-bomb me. Shadow Kirby circles around Evil Guy's head, dips three times to distract him, and spits some sand at Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Hey! No fair! You can't blind me like that! I can't see you now! RAIZA: Interesting. Shadow Kirby has blinded Evil Guy with sand. The question is: why doesn't he copy its ability and use it to his advantage? Shadow Kirby spits out the sand, which lands in a pile in front of Evil Guy, and looks up toward Raiza. SHADOW KIRBY: I'm sorry, Master! It was because there are some things I can't copy, and sand is one of them! As Shadow Kirby speaks, Evil Guy clambers up the pile of sand and grabs Shadow Kirby's foot. The crowd gasps and points, yelling to Shadow Kirby incomprehensibly. SHADOW KIRBY: Hey! Leggo! Shadow Kirby flies into the air and kicks Evil Guy off. The camera zooms in on Evil Guy's suction gloves, which are plastered with sand. Evil Guy lands head-first in the pile of sand as the camera fades to black. Scene 10 Fade in to Evil Guy, lying motionless in a pile of sand, his head buried beneath it. The crowd is cheering as Shadow Kirby hovers above Evil Guy. RAIZA: Look at that! Evil Guy is downed at last! Give him an impressive send-off for us, Shadow Kirby. Shadow Kirby nods and points his head downward, his horn facing the pile of sand. Suddenly, Evil Guy's head pops out of the sand as he stands and looks up at Shadow Kirby, confused. EVIL GUY: Huh? The crowd gasps as Shadow Kirby's horn strikes Evil Guy's forehead, which is protected by his helmet. Evil Guy stumbles and falls off the pile of sand as Shadow Kirby flies down, chasing him. EVIL GUY: Oh, no! There's a hole in my helmet now! It doesn't work anymore! The green patches of Evil Guy's helmet darken and turn black as Evil Guy removes it from his head to inspect the hole in the front. Meanwhile, Shadow Kirby comes closer and closer. EVIL GUY: You want some of me, Shadow Kirby? How about this?! Evil Guy sticks the helmet away from him, causing Shadow Kirby to fly face-first into it. It covers his face as he fumbles about, blind. Evil Guy picks him up and sticks him into the sand pile. RAIZA: My, oh my. Shadow Kirby, that was pathetic. You'll never defeat Evil Guy like that! Off to the conversion bunker with you! Raiza lifts his arm into the air, pulling Shadow Kirby towards him with a chain of red energy. SHADOW KIRBY: But...Master...I'm still-- RAIZA: Silence! You have failed me. Away with you. The crowd boos as Raiza snaps his fingers, causing Shadow Kirby to vanish along with the red chain. Evil Guy stands up and brushes the sand off his shirt. RAIZA: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the challenger you've all been waiting for! The crowd quiets down and begins to whisper nervously. RAIZA: The one who converted himself voluntarily and, in turn, kept his free will! EVIL GUY: "Voluntarily"? Who would do that? Could it be...? RAIZA: The one who was more than a match for all of us when we first captured him! EVIL GUY: The only one left...is Fernando. The question is: why would he betray us like this? RAIZA: Come, my final challenger! I summon you! Scene 11 Raiza snaps his fingers, and a vermillion-clad figure teleports into the arena. It is fat, sports a hat and a squiggly mustache, and wears a reddish-orange suit with white gloves. RAIZA: Red Army minions, give it up for Wario! The crowd goes wild. They throw their popcorn, take pictures, scream Wario's name, and even wave pencils and papers in the air while screaming for Wario's autograph. WARIO: Thank you! Thank you, everybody! EVIL GUY: Well, I'll be... WARIO: Wah-hah-hah! If it isn't Mr. Chummy McFriend-face from a couple years back! How've you been, pal? EVIL GUY: Wario, why? Why would you do this? WARIO: You left me in a dumpster when I was unconscious. If the Red Army of Death hadn't come along, may have ended up in a landfill and left for dead. EVIL GUY: It was for your own safety! WARIO: I would have been blown up by the flying PlayStation! EVIL GUY: We would have rescued you! RAIZA: Enough! Stop talking and start fighting! WARIO: Let me settle this on my own terms, Raiza. RAIZA: I think not. Let me spruce it up a bit for you two, just to make things interesting. Raiza sticks his fist into the air, causing red meteors to fall from the sky. WARIO: Wah! What is this?! Wario creates an orange force field around himself, leaving Evil Guy to dodge the meteors. He succeeds, but not without several wounds and bruises. WARIO: It's time for us to get out of here. I've got a plan. Wario snaps his fingers, turning the screen orange, then gray. Time turns backward as Evil Guy reappears at the ruins of Reverend Tryclyde's church. The ground and sky are orange, and Evil Guy is the only living being present. Wario is nowhere to be seen, but the church has been rebuilt...with Wario's face on it. EVIL GUY: Uh-oh...Wario, what have you done? Fade to black. THE END